Your Grandmother was a Bad Ass

Bad Ass Quilters Society (click on the link to read the post!)   is a great page, and I love the posts. Today, there was a post about how your grandmother was (and maybe still is) a Bad Ass. I replied with this post:onie1a

Of course they were!
My Mother also..mother_shari1
My grandmother was a sage and wise woman, a teacher, a mid-wife, an artisan and quilter. She always had a garden and animals, baked her own bread, canned her vegetables, made jams, jellies, churned butter and kept chickens for eggs. She also made do without running water, indoor plumbing, television or telephone and before the Rural Electric Co-op she did not have electricity! Most of the things that she did were because she lived in the isolated mountains of southern New Mexico and HAD to do all these things for her family and her community, including being the Mayhill Postmistress!pillow2
This is the firs project that I ever made completely by myself… inspired by my Bad Ass Grandmother (and no one told me that this was a difficult pattern that I should avoid for my first project!)

Quest Question

I have been going through things in my life, preparing to let go of some things, and I have been not finding some things {which is so TOTALY frustrating) and also discovering some things that I had forgotten I had!

I found an undated quest question from one of Juliana Coles’ classes. I know that it was after Mother’s death, but I did not date it, which irritates me to no end…

The question was: Where is the Darkness and how is it illuminated?

The darkness is in my heart – I say that the space behind my heart hurts since my Mother’s death in April {2013}.It (her death) was a long process and took years but I was there with her when she took her last breath and wiped away her last tears. I like to think of that moisture, not even real tears, as he regret at leaving us, but also her readiness to be done with this earthly shit.

My heart will be dark for some time, as she was one of the lights of my life. I have a photo of her and my son taken at his wedding and they are both happy and smiling… the 2 people in the world that I love the best!

As time goes bym, mt heart will lighten, little by little, until her memory no longer causes me pain and sadness, but it may be sometime before that happens.

I know that I will always miss you.

BTW – a friend of mine posted a facebook post about missing her Mother (and her Mother has been dead for MANY years)…and it brought me to tears. I most especially miss her this time of year, from Day of the Dead to New Years. It has been almost three years and the pain is still there.

NM Nostalgia

I always miss my Mother after I return from New Mexico… I made a mad dash last Thursday (Oct. 8 to Oct. 12) for balloon Fiesta and a great class with Juliana Coles “Grimoire: A book of shadows…”
I took shots from the class (there will be a post on that later) and when I was uploading shots from my Nikon (I very rarely use it anymore, my cell phone takes great pics…) I found pics of my Mother, so I want to post them today… Please indulge me at the time of the year when the veil between the worlds is very thin. It was also the 22nd anniversary of my Father’s death so it was an emotional visit in so many ways. Mother, Ashley, Frick and FrackAshley’s first birthday

Getting tiredWe used this as her obituary picture, she always loved babies!

Mother, Daddy and my Grandmother

I miss them all…

This brought tears to my eyes:

Your mother is always with you. She’s the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street. She’s the smell of certain foods you remember, flowers you pick, the fragrance of life itself. She’s the cool hand on your brow when you’re not feeling well. She’s your breath in the air on a cold winter’s day. She is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep, the colors of a rainbow, she is Christmas morning.
Your mother lives inside your laughter.
She’s the place you came from, your first home, and she’s the map you follow with every step you take. She’s your first love, your first friend, even your first enemy, but nothing on earth can separate you, not time, not space… not even death.
Unknown Suzannesommers. com

January 29, 1943

My beloved older brother would have been 70 years old today… he has been gone since 1986, but I still think of him at the most odd moments in my day. And since I lost my Mother this year, it has brought back the losses of my Grannie, Daddy, beloved Jeffery, Tommy and now my Mother. Sad time of year, as Jeffery and Tommy died within in a few days of each other (in different years of course). I always hold my dear sister in my thoughts as these tragic anniversaries come in the darkest times of winter…

I have been working on Photoshop

all afternoon. After our trip to the Balloon Fiesta, Erva and the girls headed for the zoo and I went  to Church. Angela gave an excellent sermon about casting spells (only at a Unitarian Church!) and gave us special dispensation to use the F Bomb! (again, only at a Unitarian church…)

Christine did a Buddhist meditation, and I was surprised – you were supposed to bless yourself, someone you loved, someone you know and someone you have a problem with.  Since I don’t have to put up with Keith Baca’s BS, I have NO ONE who I have a problem with! I was amazed.

Anyway, on day 23 we were supposed to capture emotion with a photograph. *I used a photo that my sister took of my Mother and baby Katy. I added the words…

I do miss her

Labor Day will never be the same…

Labor Day was when we always celebrated my Mother’s birthday. The actual day of her birth was September 6th, but since everyone was off for Labor Day, we always had her cake on the first Monday in September, which was always very close to her birthday. (BTW my birthday is on Washington’s birthday (2-22) my Daddy’s birthday was July 5th, my sister’s birthday was always around Thanksgiving (11-23) and my poor Brother was just born on Jan. 29th!).

Mother always accused us of trying to rush her birthday, but this year we no longer have her with us. That is why Labor day will never be the same…I love you oodles and gobs!