Found this quote today on a blog that I follow: Effy Wild
“I am both sad and relieved to leave. I am ever more aware of how much of a habit this relationship was – how little it actually offered me in terms, how on guard and vigilant I always felt, how draining, how depressing, how impacted I am by living with unhappy, repressed people, how it dulls my shiny, how it sucks the life right out of me.”
Italics are mine.
Not my exact situation, but the feelings are very similar. Toxicity comes in so many forms, and I will do my best to avoid any in my future. It will certainly impact my future life, and I must always guard against getting sucked into toxic situations, even under the guise of long term friendship.
I will slog through, but there is a lot of vengeful, hateful thoughts that just jump up unbidden (well not actually unbidden, i.e. my water being turned off… was certainly a trigger) and I have to regain control. My future looks bright and shiny, and that is what I will strive to maintain.
Off to packing AGAIN (and I really hate to pack, but not enough to get rid of the last of my stuff…)